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-- because you can't drink on the job.
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  • 03/25/08--07:38: A SeriouslyIntervention
  • Hello, SeriouslyReader.  How are you?  Good. You’re probably wondering why The Guys are all here in your office.  We wanted to start by saying that we love you, but we’re concerned. According to Dr. Jerald Block’s article in the American Journal of Psychiatry, you’re addicted to the Internet.  We’ve noticed it for some time, as […]

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  • 07/24/08--15:28: How To: Care less
  • No matter where you go for meaningful conversation, you will always encounter some nihilist who “could care less.” But what do they mean by that? Could they care less about the topic? Could they care less about you? More importantly, why could they care less and why don’t they? Our guess is that they want […]

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    Remember drunk dialing? It used to be so much harder when you didn’t have a phone in your pocket with your boss’ or ex-girlfriend’s number programmed into it. But really, drunk dialing is so 2003. It was replaced by drunken MySpacing, Facebooking, etc. (So what do kids these days, drunken YouTubing, Twittering or whatever it […]

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    Carnies, your treasure person awaits! Science has officially found the world’s stupidest person-Janella Spears, come on down! For the Nigerian prince readers, allow me to translate: Gretings! You ar now reding a stoyr abut a wummun and hir abilty to loose money. Like, a lot fo it. Despite poorly wurded emayls lik tihs artickle, even […]

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    College is about to begin, which means it’s time for the annual Beloit College Mindset List. Every year, Beloit College composes a list of technology, fads and people that incoming freshmen never learn about because high schools spend an entire month on the Civil War* and a week on everything after World War II. This […]

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    Our favorite government-sanctioned four day weekend is almost upon us! Normally, this just means drinking (more) on a Wednesday. But, a new survey indicates that 59 percent of us will check our work email over the break. If that wasn’t bad enough, of those who will be in to eat turducken “in just a minute,” […]

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  • 03/01/12--12:50: Today … in racism
  • With President Barack Obama’s inauguration in January 2009, you might have thought that was the end of racism in America. Don’t worry, mein klein kampfs: there’s still plenty to go around. Some of you probably already know closet racists. You know, the uncle that “doesn’t want to be racist” but “some stereotypes are just true.” […]

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    Sunday marks the beginning of Daylight Saving Time. Seems like it’s a little early this year, doesn’t it? I checked, and apparently it’s this time every year. But, like, winter’s not over. It hasn’t warmed up yet. It’s still snowing on the East Coast. How the hell are we supposed to set our clocks ahead […]

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  • 12/11/15--10:12: The pluck of the Irish
  • Leave it to the Irish to sum up being able to load your Gmail in Yahoo’s mail client in one subheading: For some reason you can now access your Gmail account through Yahoo [Emphasis ours.] Yes, come back to Yahoo for email. Please? We’ll let you use Gmail, and we all know that everyone prefers […]

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    And just like that, 2015 is over. It seems like only yesterday we were talking about how miserable a year 2014 was. I, for one, think that we managed to surpass all expectations this year. It was the most miserable yet. We kept injuring ourselves falling off of bikes, stages and those Segway-like things that […]

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    One day we will do all of our written communication through emoji, but today is not that day, according to a recent study. Researchers in Israel tested hundreds of people from 29 different countries, and found that pretty much everyone around the world who reads a work email that contains an emoji immediately thinks the … Continue reading Science: Don’t use emoji in your work emails 🙁